so there’s a pigeon i used to pass by in my old neighborhood all the time and he was really fat because people would just toss him food and literally he sat in the middle of the sidewalk and people would just step over him, he wouldn’t even flinch. seriously you could sit down next to him and just feed him and he would be chill.
he was there every day and all us locals would affectionately refer to him as ‘lard-ass’
"what are your plans for the future" *shrugs so hard that my arms detach at the shoulders and i am no longer asked any questions that arent about my missing limbs*
110% done with you and your bullshit.
this is never going to not be funny